Saturday, January 7, 2012

Alf: The First Adventure

Originally on the Atari and Commodore but ported to DOS in 1988, Alf was supposed to be a game based on the popular TV show around that time period. You're Alf, you crashed your spaceship into the Tanner family's garage, and you need to run around your maze-like neighborhood collecting cats to eat and grabbing your spaceship parts. Make sure to watch out for the Dog Catcher and Willie Tanner, they're going to do some crazy stuff to you!

Gameplay: 2/10
In order to review this fairly, I should compare it to some other games from 1988. There's a lot of good titles, like Gauntlet, Legendary Wings, and even Zelda II. It just wasn't a good year for Alf though, because his game plays like hell, and in Alf's world, it's no easy task to complete your core objectives. The cats are impossible, even when you corner them they're going to run away from you. I managed to get a few and lock them in my garage for sweet feasting later, but that little kid Willie got me and made me release them all. Damn. -8 points for "what's going on?".

Graphics: 1/10
The Alf head on the cover pretty much sums it up, because all you are is a head, moving around. It looks like there is about four colors in the palette, and none of them are very pretty. Every now and then you grab a pizza from the street, or run into a trash can. Everything just skips around and is generally pretty horrible to look at. -9 points for the horrible neighborhood maze of badly rendered nightmare.
Sound: 0/10
I hate it. Long beeps or boops that hold up the gameplay. Seriously, everything stops for a second while the game beeps at you. -all the points for it barely working.

Overall: 1/10
You know what's humiliating? The fact that I played this game altogether. It is useless, worthless, not fun or creative, and barely related to the show that it was based off of. If I could get my time back, well damn. I'd get it back. The game's free but should have been erased.


  1. From what you've said, I've decided, definitely not gonna check this one out.

  2. That has to be the ugliest game I have ever seen, hands down!

    I remember my grandad telling me his stories of Alf.

  4. ahahahah sounds terrible, but I think I'm going to check out of morbid curiosity and nostalgia for the alf series, which was really funny!

  5. I never played the game but I saw the TV series.

  6. Who's crazy idea was it to make an Alf DOS game in the first place...

  7. The worst thing about this... it's not the only Alf game... stay tuned :D

  8. Alright look... This game is NOT as bad as the author says it is... Okay? This is my childhood... It's hard, yes... But it was fun, and still is in my opinion... I don't understand how you give this game such a horrible rating. The lowest I would ever give it, is a 3 or 4 out of 10 realistically. For reasons too long to explain. But the nostalgia factor, I'd give it an 8.